Crazy Christian Movie Trailer of the Day – Rated PG92

Wired4Film wants to build better filmmakers.  Simple.  That’s why we exist.  Sometimes we will do that by showing amazing films and riveting stories and challenging interviews with people we need to study and be like and…what’s that christianese word?  oh yeah….emulate.

This is not one of those times.

Currently there’s a pretty adequate rating system in place that we’re all familiar with: G, PG, PG-13, R and NC-17.  But with the surge of Christian Films hitting the market, we feel like there needs to be a new one added:  PG-92

The PG-92 rating should be reserved for films that are obviously targeted at an age group of 92 year olds and above whose mental faculties, statistically speaking, may not be all together present and accounted for.  Those whose eyesight perhaps is failing and hearing is dulled and overall – given these handicaps – could actually enjoy films like this one.

Here is a movie trailer for a film called the “Bike King and the Ten Commandments.”  The title alone merits the PG-92 rating.  But if you feel you must go further and watch the trailer, and you’re not 92 years old or older…just realize it might be a case of a film that’s just not been made for you.  You’re too young.  You just don’t “get it”.

 Some interesting things to note about the film:

1.  Satan sounds a lot like Master Splinter from TMNT

2. It gets interesting at 3:09 when the dirt bike action begins but loses it again 6 seconds later at a boy-girl-running-along-the-beach-and-then holding-hands-swirling-around-time where the budget was so low, the filmmaker couldn’t even afford the Final Cut Slow Motion effect.

3.  God is a mix between a hawaiian dude and an old tree that spits out CD-ROMs.

4. God loves you.  God LOVES you.  God LOOOOOOOOOOOOVES you.

5. Do NOT emulate this!  You’ve been warned!

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