The Onion: God Makes Surprise Visit to Local Church

Okay…here’s a 5-minute break…have a good chuckle and then get back to MAKING MOVIES people!!!

(EXCERPT) FAYETTEVILLE, NC—Parishioners at the First Presbyterian Church were left stunned and in awe of His glory Sunday, when the Lord God Almighty dropped by their 11 a.m. service unannounced.

Interrupting Pastor Terry Pridgen’s sermon on His unending mercy, God appeared suddenly before His flock as an intense beam of white light, instantly dispersing the earthly forms of those seated in the first two pews. Sources said the remaining congregants had to avert their eyes from their Creator, whose booming celestial voice overwhelmed their worldly senses and humbled their hearts as He politely apologized for not calling first.

“I AM the God of Abraham, the LORD MOST HIGH, who brought you forth from the bondage of Egypt,” God said unto church members, many of whom cowered in reverent fear of Him. “Thought I’d just pop in and see how things were going. Please, pretend like I’m not even here.”

The Supreme Being then thanked the choir for its “lovely introduction” and took a seat to the right of the altar.

Since the Almighty’s decision to stop by the First Presbyterian Church, the theological world has been thrown into chaos. Presbyterian leaders said God’s appearance was indisputable proof that their denomination is the one true faith, but afternoon sightings of the Lord at two other Fayetteville churches, as well as one synagogue, have cast doubt on that theory.

“God said He just wanted to see what we were up to,” Pastor Pridgen said. “This is His house, after all. He can drop in whenever He wants.”

“Although, you’d think an all-knowing deity unbound by time and space would be able to give us some warning so we could at least put a bulletin in the church newsletter,” the pastor added. “Not that I’m complaining or anything. All praise be to God. Is He still hanging around the parking lot?”

Read the full story at the Onion.com HERE

So what would it be like if God showed up at your church?  Would he be welcomed?  Would he stick around?  Would anyone recognize him?  Would he get kicked out for disrupting the flow?  He might if he showed up in his pair of jeans with the holes in them.  

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