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Has World Wide Pictures been Raptured?

May 21, 2010 by  
Filed under Around the Web, Editorials, Headlines

Dear Billy and/or Franklin and/or Anne and/or Other Lesser Known But Equally Valued Graham Sibling(s):

I have a righteous bone to pick with you!  No, it’s not the Pre-Trib/Post-Trib thing, though I’m 97% sure Dr. Billy knows when Jesus is returning but he’s not sharing with the rest of us.  No, I’ve got bigger fish to fry.  What have you done with World Wide Pictures?  Did you off-load it at a Garage sale?  Did you cut it up into tiny pieces and turn it into “Dare to be a Daniel” bracelets?  Did you take it with you on a South African Crusade where it “met with a little accident”?  Is it tied up in the basement of the Log Cabin at the Cove?

Where are you World Wide Pictures?  Ollie Ollie Oxen Free!

According to IMDb.com the last film was released in 2004.  Was it ironic foreshadowing that the title was “Last Flight Out”?!?  Sounds a wee bit suspicious to me.  And why is no one asking any questions?  Everybody is all, “That’s cool, man…24 different films and then…ffffffft.  Gone.  Right on!  Prolly Raptured!”

24 Films!  And then it vanishes into nothingness like Keyser Soze?  I. Think. Not.

Come to think of it, it vanished the same year that “The Passion of the Christ” hit the theaters.  Oh man, oh man, oh man!  I’m about to go all CSI all over you Billy G!  And not the second-rate spinoffs like CSI:Miami or CSI:Asheboro….I’m talking pre-Caruso expert gumshoe ballistics.

Is that a thing?  Gumshoe Ballistics?  I don’t actually watch CSI…but it seems like it could be a thing.

Anywho, if Team Billy has a minute from saving the planet, I’d like to go over a few of the incriminating facts.

FACT: Recently “MovieGuide’s” Ted Baehr said that 132 of the top movies released by Hollywood contained positive Christian content

FACT: “Road to Redemption”, “The Climb” and “Last Flight Out” were headed in the right direction cinematically even though,

FACT: In 1986 I lost major cool points among my friends as “The Official Movie Buff friend” when I recommended “Caught”

FACT: Filmmaking’s not THAT hard.  I mean, Tyler Perry spits out a new one every time he brushes his teeth

FACT: The Salary of an average Pro Wrestler is $47,500/yr

FACT: Sherwood Baptist, Cloud Ten Pics and Gener8xion could reeeeeeeally use some competition at the Box Office.

FACT: World Wide Pics has been on the film scene since 1953 and helped launch an  industry which it abandoned practically in Utero circa 2004.  But maybe most importantly,

FACT:  The Average life expectancy ( in seconds ) of an enemy soldier in a Chuck Norris film =  4

FACT: Reboots are all the rage.  Batman, James Bond, Tron, Rocky and Karate Kid have all received dramatic franchise makeovers.

FACT: BGEA’s production facilities are first-rate, completely  HiDef and easily outfitted for a feature film revolution

FACT: You’ve got multi-generations of Rock the River-ers and Dare to Be Daniel-ers begging you to do for film what you do in Music and Pop Culture

Here’s what I’m hoping.  I’m hoping you’re just taking a little breather.  Re-purposing World Wide Pics.  Upgrading parts, like the Bionic Man and you’re just waiting to unleash heaven on us any day now.

What, do you need script ideas?  A Modern Day Daniel in the Lions Den High School story.  Or how about Disaster Relief: the Movie.  We could hook you up with Richard Brunson over at the NC Baptist Men on that Disaster Relief film…he said he’d do it if we could get George Clooney to play him!  I’m pretty sure if that happened we could get Brad Pitt to play Franklin.  Either that or Denzel Washington.  It’s kind of a toss up, there.

But it’s time, Grahams.  It’s time to get back in the arena and it’s time to show these Christian film whipper-snappers how to use High Production Value and Craftsmanship as well as compelling stories to lead the pack in global impact.  Unless your first step is to form a committee on Film Making. In that case….uhhhhh, forget I said anything.

But that’s not been your style.  I’ve seen some amazing examples from BGEA recently of a Christian Ministry leading in Cultural Relevance.  It’s time.  And if all this begging and pleading and factual gumshoe ballisticery isn’t enough for you, then I have to resort to this:  I double dog dare you…no….I triple dog dare you to make another film!  (And if you know anything about Triple Dog Dares, there is NO backing down, my friend!)

Let’s make a movie!

Sincerely,

S. David Acuff
Wired4Film

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Comments

One Response to “Has World Wide Pictures been Raptured?”
  1. jschroter says:

    Way to lay down the challenge! Great points and all I can say is I’m in full agreement. Personally, I think we’re on our way – albeit not under the World Wide Pictures name. A lot of the same questions are being asked by others and we’ve produced some solid stuff lately through http://www.ransom.tv

    The closest thing to a short film so far is what we produced for Dustin Kensrue’s ‘This Is War’ in December 2009.
    http://www.youtube.com/user/RansomTeeVee#p/u/23/k0RbWg0UCKE

    Keep up the good work, David!

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