In this shocking new article from Christian-Cinema.com the hardworking media watchdogs at the Dove Foundation have given Michael Myers’ latest slasher film two Doves down. Or thumbs. Or however they quantify cinematic non-awesomeness.
I’m wondering…who needed this review? Was it you? Were you sitting on the fence on this one? Maybe you saw the Halloween 2 trailer and thought this might be a good one for the youth group?
“Buuuuuuuuut,” you devilishiously advocated, “I better wait for the Dove Rating System which could actually reveal that this film may not be as redemptive as it appears and in fact could potentially scare the h-e-double-hockey-sticks outta our kids and scar them for life.”
Well if that’s the case, the murky media waters have just gotten media murkier. See, apparently now that half the Dove Review Team – or DRTs- is in therapy over at Focus on the Family and the other half is sleeping with the lights on after the H2 review, they’ve officially sworn off NC-17 rated films as well as “certain explicit R-rated films.” Only without the swearing part.
It’s the end of an era, film lovers. It means you’re not gonna be able to rely on the DRTs to tell you, for example, whether “Night of the Demons” or “Saw VI” are kid-friendly and mother-approved. You won’t be able to lean on this surrogate Holy Spirit in your life. You’re gonna have to review the facts and use your own…ahem…common sense*.
Discernment…it’s not just for Rock Music Video Television anymore!
What? Why are you still here? You need more spoonfeeding?
Alright. Wired4Film.com loves you. We will not abandon you in your time of moral confusion. So here now are 5 Movie Discernment Tips to Help Guide Your Seared Conscious on Your Movie-Going Habits. Otherwise known as…
You Know You’re in the Wrong Theater if….
1. …if the opening credits include two or more of the following: detailed shots of mutilated corpses, severed limbs, a chainsaw, an ice pick, a blender, boobs (technically this does count for two) or Emilio Estevez.
2. …if the film title includes: National Lampoon, Saw, Massacre, Final Destination, any roman numerals beyond III, Spring Break, Uncut & Unrated, Cheerleader, or Left Behind*.
3. …if it’s Friday night and you’re the only person in that theater…leave immediately. Statistically speaking, this movie’s a stinkbomb.
4. …conversely, if it’s Friday night and you are surrounded by nothing but college guys, this is not a good sign…although it might be that you’ve stumbled into a Star Trek film in which case you’re okay to stay, but plan on taking a drink of whatever is passed to you every time Spock lifts his eyebrow and/or says, “Fascinating.”
5. …if the film has been directed by Tarantino, Apatow, Joel Schumacher or has any combination of Seth Rogen, Paris Hilton, Leslie Nielson or any of the Wayans Brothers. Run away.
Just a basic guideline, people. Not the gospel. So, good luck with that. Happy Film Viewing!
*snarky opinions of certain W4F contributors are not necessarily the snarky opinion of Wired4Film.com
The International Christians in Visual Media (ICVM) has landed in Denver, Colorado.
ChristianCinema.com reports that “attendees come from the U.S., Mexico, Bangladesh, Singapore, Thailand, Great Britain, Holland, South Africa, Scotland, Italy, and several other countries.”
With members from over 20 nations, ICVM is a great association of Christian writers, directors, producers and distributors who believe that, “visual media can do for the spread of the Gospel what Gutenburg’s printing press did hundreds of years ago. By spurring each other on to excellence, we believe we can make a significant impact in the church and in the world. You will benefit from being a part of us and we will benefit from your expertise.”
This year’s gathering is called the Catalyst Conference and has an impressive roster of speakers, seminars and workshops.
Catalyst Conference 2009 runs from July 7 – July 10, 2009.
For more information check out their website www.icvm.com
This article was written by ChristianCinema.com staff-writer Angela Walker. It may be read in full HERE.
(EXCERPT) The 81st Academy® Awards show celebrated a different kind of film last night.Slumdog Millionaire, which won eight awards, was based on a novel by an Indian writer, filmed in Mumbai, India, and included an Indian cast. This film, originally destined for a straight-to-DVD release in the United States, took the country by storm when Fox Searchlight Pictures picked it up and took a chance on a theatrical release.
Someone at Warner Brothers Pictures is probably either jobless or very close to it today, as their specialty film division Warner Independent Pictures (which was closed down) was the original distributor for this sneak success. Slumdog Millionaire was produced by a British company (Celador Films) and co-financed by a French distributor.
Fox Searchlight is building its reputation for distributing the daring type of film that most studios are avoiding, and that Slumdog Millionaire represents. Opening the second weekend of November in only 10 theaters, the movie averaged $36,000 per theater that first weekend. Then in a wider release (614 theaters) the day after Christmas, the film brought in $4.3 million. To date, the box office total internationally is $159.6 million, or 10 times the reported production budget of $15 million.
(JAN 05, 2009) Life imitates art imitating life. At least that’s what the filmmakers behind “Bella” have found.
This article by Mark Earley and can be read in full at ChristianCinema.com
(EXCERPT) When Christian actor Eduardo Verastegui devoted his career to serving God, he had no idea what might come out of his decision. He certainly couldn’t have imagined that his widely acclaimed movie Bella would literally save lives and souls. But that’s the story that author Tim Drake tells so well in his book “Behind Bella.”
(MAY 20, 2007) Angela Walker with ChristianCinema.com sits down with Alex Kendrick who is the Producer/Writer/Director of Facing the Giants to talk about life in the film lane.
(EXCERPT) Days before the national release of Facing the Giants, Alex and his wife Christina welcomed their 5th child, Caleb. This is Alex’s 53rd interview since the film gained media attention, yet he took time to talk about his film, his family, and his passion for God. His consuming goal? For God to be glorified.