A friend of mine was Googling Jesus images and randomly came across this one that I instantly fell in love with…
I mean, it’s mesmerizing and puzzling all at the same time. Now, I’m a little rusty with my late Jurassic period non-verbal skills but luckily for you, that’s where my advanced Mass Comm education and training kicks in. I mean, not to bore you with all the Maslow and Pavlovian and Sallie Mae jibber jabber, but it appears exactly as if this baby lizard is Velocer-ravenous! He’s hungry, Jack! Or she. Worse than that, it is having a moral and existential crisis because he (she?) totally wants to take a bite outta the Lamb of God.
I mean, look at those slotted yellow eyes. Full of mischief. Jehovah Rapha is 10 seconds away from becoming Jehovah Snack-uh. Sadly enough, what we’re looking at here could, in fact, be the REAL reason dinosaurs became extinct.
You may disagree, but think about it…if you’re one of the trinity and one of your creatures attempts to make Nom Noms outta 1/3 of your holy personage…you get a little ticked. Remember, at this time, we didn’t have New Testament “Your Sins are Forgiven” “My Grace is Sufficient for Thee” God. This was still Old OLD Testament “Eye for an Eye” “Touch my ark and Fry” God. It’s not mentioned as much in Deuteronomy, because it was more of an understood rule of thumb that devouring the Son of God was highly frowned upon.
Of course Jesus got over it by the New Testament and in fact ran with the idea. ”This bread? Yeah, it’s my flesh. Eat it.” Cause why? Cause that was part of his redemption plan. Dino redemption. It was His way of saying, “Sorry Dinosaurs. Didn’t mean to wipe most of you off the planet and shrink the rest of you into Iguanas and Horned Toads. We cool?”
Also, as I pondered this unHoly visage…what I like to call the Calm before the Storm…I remembered an announcement from over the weekend at San Diego Comic-Con where Spielberg spoke of plans for a new Jurassic Park sequel (#4 in the series for those still counting) which could be coming down the pipeline in two or three years from now. (Read more about it at Digital Journal.)
But not much else was revealed. And then suddenly my Journalistic instincts (second only to my Jurassic and Theological and Mathematical instincts) kicked in and I knew what was happening. Astute readers will recall when Wired4Film — with Nostradamus-like precision — revealed that “Finding Nemo” was just a reboot of a “Jaws” prequel that some studios had laying around. That’s the kind of journalistic insider-track nuggets you’ve come to expect. Well you’re about to have your minds blown again.
I suspect that the above picture is an unfinished Poster for what some people assume to be “Jurassic 4″ but we now know to be a Jurassic Park Prequel Reboot. Whew! Mind = blown! Oops, and by the way….Spoiler Alert! Hmmm. Maybe too late for that one. Anywho, you’re welcome, America. And my Cambodian reader.
So here now, is what could be…oh, who are we kidding…so, here now, is what WILL be coming down the pipeline in a few years. Expect it!